Maltzmania
aka Modern Mystery is a 23.39 year old boy, has been a member since July 15, 2007, has scored 28961 submissions, giving an average score of 2.18.
It's Not a Complete Evil Laugh Without a Handlebar Mustache
of 23 votes, 57% like it
Handlebar Mustache: Don't Vie for World Domination Without it
of 21 votes, 57% like it
Handlebar Mustaches: Don't Leave Your Evil Hideout Without it!
of 22 votes, 59% like it
I'd Respect You More With a Handlebar Mustache
of 22 votes, 55% like it
Diamonds May Be Forever, but Handlebar Mustaches Tickle A Little
of 26 votes, 54% like it
Evil Villain Bicyclists Always Use The Handlebar Mustache.
of 24 votes, 46% like it
Handlebar Mustaches: Don't Leave 1920's silent films without them
of 23 votes, 52% like it
Excuse Me While I Stroke My Invisible Handlebar Mustache
of 25 votes, 72% like it
Being an Evil Mastermind is as Easy as 1, 2, Handlebar Mustache.
of 23 votes, 48% like it
I Swear I'm a Villain! I Just Left my Handlebar Mustache at Home
of 23 votes, 48% like it
Slogan Shirts: An Awkward Silence Insurance Plan
of 20 votes, 30% like it
This Shirt is Helping Me Get Over My Fear of Awkward Silence
of 19 votes, 47% like it
Dramatic Tee Shirts Are So... (back) Anticlimactic
of 19 votes, 47% like it
You Can't Spell Random Without Tangerine Swordfish Disco Car
of 144 votes, 64% like it
I'm Rarely Caught Dead Wearing This
of 159 votes, 58% like it
Sadly, My Air Guitar Solos Get Confused With Awkward Silences
of 247 votes, 68% like it
(regular ink)I'm not one for hidden messages (glow ink) Hypocrite
of 285 votes, 62% like it
(regular ink) I'm not afraid of the dark (glow ink) hold me!
of 332 votes, 75% like it
Getting rocked like a hurricane is only fun in theory
of 259 votes, 64% like it
French words are not my Forté
of 280 votes, 65% like it
I can think of only two things I hate: 1. lists 2.hypocrites
of 235 votes, 56% like it
Hooray for sarcasm!
of 249 votes, 62% like it
Hang gliding: The excitement of flying a kite, half the mockery
of 207 votes, 49% like it
Egotistical astronauts are not as down to earth as they seem
of 198 votes, 53% like it
I enjoyed watching you read. Let's do this again sometime.
of 274 votes, 67% like it
You're doing wonders for my self-esteem right now
of 223 votes, 52% like it
Library Fines: Like being hit with a sack of marshmallows
of 263 votes, 62% like it
Think of this as an advance apology for my awkwardness
of 245 votes, 53% like it
Mimes are only in it for the awkward silence
of 353 votes, 59% like it
The mysterious ooze in my yard has yet to grant me one superpower
of 321 votes, 53% like it
Dear Syrup, I want you on me. Love, Waffles. (In letter format)
of 363 votes, 58% like it
(front)If you can read this (back) You definitley can't read this
of 392 votes, 61% like it
Awkward Silence Indicators: Tumbleweed, cricket, and your jokes.
of 330 votes, 51% like it
(Vertically where a tie would be) Helpful Tip #32: Ties go here
of 325 votes, 50% like it
It's hard thinking outside the box when it's a really sweet box.
of 356 votes, 55% like it
I have a vast vocabulary. So, like, yeah and stuff.
of 345 votes, 51% like it
I never understood the semi-colon; but i often use it ironically.
of 315 votes, 45% like it
That makes about as much sense as a platypus
of 298 votes, 45% like it
Find your damn self Waldo
of 362 votes, 56% like it
Metaphors are as redundant as similes
of 290 votes, 45% like it
I can't wait for this to get more awkard.
of 326 votes, 47% like it
I'd laugh out loud, but I can't without a keyboard.
of 326 votes, 53% like it
With a straight face tell me you don't want a handlebar moustache
of 357 votes, 54% like it
My alphabet soup has poor syntax
of 298 votes, 47% like it
I high-five strangers.
of 345 votes, 56% like it
Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
(Front) I'm not a flip-flopper! yes i am... (Back) Or am I?
of 87 votes, 44% like it
(Front) This is Me (Back) This is Me Walking Away
of 32 votes, 13% like it
(front)Dramatic Slogan Shirts Are So.....(back) ....Anticlimactic
of 44 votes, 27% like it
(front)This is me (back) This is me walking away
of 334 votes, 44% like it
Ask About My Evil Laugh
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Car Alarms Should Never Lure You Into a False Sense of Security
of 11 votes, 18% like it
Doornails take considerable offense to your verbal taunts
of 32 votes, 16% like it
Dramatic Pauses Are So........ (back) ....Anticlimactic
of 3 votes, 33% like it
I Do Not Understand the Semicolon; Only Irony
of 9 votes, 22% like it
I'm Like the Old School Villains. I Use The Train.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
I'm Not an Evil Villain. I Just Like Tophats, Mustaches and Capes
of 54 votes, 35% like it
I'm Not Indecisive, I Think. Well, Maybe I Am. (Back) Or Am I?
of 33 votes, 24% like it
I'm only distracting you from my lack of handlebar mustache
of 28 votes, 25% like it
If I gave you an Eskimo Kiss would you think less of me?
of 154 votes, 41% like it
If it's not a sandwich it's not a car
of 75 votes, 48% like it
If You Build It,Four Other Construction Guys Will Stand and Watch
of 7 votes, 29% like it
If you build it. They will watch your false sense of hope.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Lava, A dish best served cold
of 22 votes, 9% like it
Math Magicians: All the Nerdiness. None of the Magic.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
My Two Tickets To Paradise Include a Layover in Atlanta
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Not now. I'm trying to end a 7 year game of hide n' seek
of 46 votes, 33% like it
Old Time Villains Always Used Public Transport. Mostly the Train
of 30 votes, 13% like it
Parmesan Cheese Isn't Even All That Grate
of 8 votes, 13% like it
Repetition is comedic. I'm not making that joke.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Self-deprecating slogan shirts are lame, unfunny and stupid
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Self-Deprecating Slogan Shirts Are So Unfunny and Lame
of 33 votes, 18% like it
This Is A Mere Distraction From My Lack Of Handlebar Mustache
of 42 votes, 29% like it
This Is A Placeholder For My Evil Villain Cape
of 30 votes, 13% like it
This Is My Attempt to End a 7 Year Game of Hide and Seek
of 35 votes, 29% like it
What I Lack In Wit I Make Up For In You Being A Big Stupidhead
of 33 votes, 24% like it
What Was The Deal With Old Villains and Train Tracks?
of 30 votes, 13% like it
http://threadless.com/profile/545528/Maltzmania
thanks Pizazz!
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